


"You are here to stay."

by Boudoir_af_en_Raev



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Bottom Thomas, F/M, Gen, Gender/Sexuality Issues, I'm sorry Thomas, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Mary has a heart (and a big one at that), Multi, Non-Linear Narrative, O'Brien actually doesn't, Other, Period-Typical Homophobia, Polyamory, Seasons Pre-1 to Post-6, Shellshock (PTSD) - freeform, Thomas-centric, Weird Intersexual Biology, World War I, dubious consent (not in main relationships)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 15:56:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16411508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boudoir_af_en_Raev/pseuds/Boudoir_af_en_Raev
Summary: From the prologue:Thomas can still remember his mother's words the day before she threw him out of her house. "He was a bright young thin' when he was little, but I think he's become more reckless now... 'm worried, Margaret" - "So am I, mother, somethin's up wit' him I think" his sister replied.On Sunday when they'd gone to church, his mother had made them stay late after mass to ask for advice from father Callahan. Phillip Baxter had sent his young wife home and stayed to confess.In asking for forgiveness for his sins he raised his voice more than was wise to do in an echoing space like the inside of a church: "...I let that Barrow boy touch my member, father, and now the sin of sodomy haunts my mind, father, day and night... ".Thomas was out of his parent's house and under a bridge before dinner time.After two years on the streets with barely enough clothes to survive the cold and never enough food, Mossleigh Manor was quite literally a sight for sore eyes. Little did Thomas know he'd find a better life in a bigger house even further away from home:Downton Abbey.





	"You are here to stay."

**Author's Note:**

> A.N.:
> 
>   
> Even if I'm a fan of many many tv shows and sagas and have been for many years, so far I've only read (an enourmous lot) and imagined (possibly even more) in terms of fanfiction but never put anything down in writing.
> 
> I recently found out they're finally filming the DA movie we were promised for 2019 (yay!) and even though there's no release date set (not yet anyway) the news made something click inside me and I finally decided to start writing my very own DA fanfiction masterpiece.
> 
>  
> 
> Mind you, I call it that but it could turn out to be something awful instead and in that unfortunate case, you would be left wondering what the hell this was supposed to be at all. I might update more-or-less regularly or once in a while, I don't know yet.  
>   
> This story is long, complicated and multi-layered in my head (as most of them are) so I guess we'll see how it goes and if it goes well I hope many will be in for the ride.
> 
> I warn you now I don't have a beta, I'm also Italian and mostly self-taught and even though my english is normally considered pretty good the last time I wrote anything in english was papers during high school and that was years ago.  
>   
> For these reasons I beg you to be understanding of any grammatical slights and let me know in a comment below which sentences I should revise or what expressions would work better.  
>   
> If you speak french and/or german, feel free to help with the little french and german I'll write in future chapters, although I will mostly use it in war scenes from chapters set in S2.
> 
>  
> 
> I have a profound love for some specific characters (Thomas, Sybil, the Dowager, Mrs. Hughes, the kitchen staff), a deeply rooted hatred that sometimes translates as apathy towards others (Ms. O'Brien, Mr. Moleseley, Ms. Baxter, at times the Bateses) while some I like and dislike equally or I simply choose not to explore too much.  
>   
> I don't know how much of this will eventually reflect in my writing but I urge you to keep in mind that these characters, while they were mostly not mine to begin with, ended up assuming certain perks and quirks in my head, they aquired certain flaws or personal stories which do not necessarily reflect the show's own.  
>   
> I may update tags and ratings as the story progresses but I will always warn at the start of chapter for possible triggers.
> 
>  
> 
> Now on with the (fan) show.  
>   
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
>   
> Disclaimer: Everything that isn't on the show is mine, the rest is Fellowes's. Unfortunately Thomas is on the bloody show. And I apologize in advance, this fic will be quite bloody in some of its parts.  
>   
> In this chapter: mentions of educational beatings (not that I approve but it was sadly considered good parenting for thousands of years), mentions of underage stealing and prostitution (again, I don't approve but this is fictional survival).

# "You are here to stay."

#### Prologue

 

When Thomas was a little tot his mother and sister used to refer to him as "Mr. Bee". He may be tiny still but he was fierce in establishing the rule that he should be called as his father was: Mr. Barrow.  
  
After all, his father had made it clear that Thomas was to be shown respect as the heir to the family business. But Tommy was so very small he didn't even know how to properly _say_ his name yet and more often than not he ended up maiming the word and reducing it to a "Mi'ter Be'w".

Since the moment he started walking he never seemed to stop exploring the house and running everywhere his tiny feetsies would take him. Mrs. Barrow had many fun times playfully warning her daughter Margaret that their Mr. Bee was "chasing her 'round" and to be careful if she wished to avoid "getting stung".  
  
The sting usually consisted in Mr. Bee barrelling into Maggie's legs at the most inopportune of moments, like when she was carrying in a load of clean laundry from the washhouse one day and it all ended up under her muddy boots and Tommy's dirty bare feet. In the end she had to wash it all over again.

 

 

Over the earliest years of Tommy's life, the chase turned into a funny game which never really seemed to end as Mr. Bee would follow his Mum around the house to learn how she sewed, washed and ironed the clothes she sold and inspect how his Maggie made the beds and swept the floors.  
  
He would wonder how his Mum cooked all their meals and how it was at all possible that he could have freshly-brewed tea at any time of day. He would forget how his Maggie sometimes left for school and scowl, and be excited and smile when she returned with letters and numbers to practice.

Tommy learnt lots and lots of things from his Mum and Maggie and when his father decided he was old enough to learn the ropes of clock-making in the shop at only five years of age, Tommy was the happiest tot in town.

 

 

Yes, I know what you're thinking, easy feat in a small village like Seaforth, but more impressive if you counted the neighbouring Bootle too, or even the richer kids that came from Liverpool to the seaside (from _Liverpool_ , not just any other silly sea village!).

Tommy always found it strange that people would live in a place called 'a pool of liver', for how much people could enjoy the taste so much as to live in a _pool_ of it was a mistery to him which would never be solved.  
  
Then again, he lived in a village called sea-forth, but everyone seemed to forget the sea always went _back_ to the Irish shores during the night, following the tides and the pull of the moon.

Tommy's Mum knew lots of things about the sea, she'd even crossed it coming to England to marry Mr. Barrow. "People are queer sometimes - his Mum would always remind him -'s best to not question why they think what they think, Tommy" and since his Mum was a wise one, Tommy eventually decided to keep his smart considerations to himself.  
  
Nobody seemed to appreciate them anyway and it was for the best that he learn to keep his mouth shut, particularly on the bad days when his father was already twitching with the need to give him a sound beating.

 

* * *

 

Tommy's father had never been a doting daddy, he'd only ever accepted the title of "Mr. Barrow or sir for you Thomas" and he always told Tommy he should be more like Phillip, "now that boy next door is a fine and obedient one". He firmly believed that if anything went wrong, well then it was because he hadn't beaten Thomas enough and as a result he had cocked it up as he always did.  
  
In Tommy's head, that explained why he thought Phillip Baxter was such a good boy: Mr. and Mrs. Baxter gave Phillip daily beatings with the belt and the stick so of course Phillip was obedient, he may be stupid but not enough to get himself beaten _twice_ a day "for nothin'".  
  
And he always lamented that it was "for nothin'" when it was really Tommy who was beaten for no other reason than having a tongue and using it.

 

 

Mr. Barrow wasn't happy about the way Tommy used his tongue already and he was even less happy that he should send his son to the public school, where he would no doubt learn to talk all pish-posh like the toffs who came to his shop from the seaside resort in Bootle.  
  
Imagine the combination of an already razor-sharp tongue and the sweet-talking manners of the posh people from the upper classes: he'd have to beat Thomas _thrice_ a day if he wanted to have any hope of shutting him up.

It didn't help matters any that he could run his business without having any literature at all, and so his father had done before him and so his grandfather before him and so on. So why should he send his children to that waste of time people called school when he could teach Thomas all about clock-making were he to keep Thomas home?  
  
Unfortunately for Mr. Barrow, his wife had won the argument the first time around and Margaret had gone to the public school until the age of twelve, when she had found a job as a laundry maid in one of the many big holiday houses along the sea shore.  
  
Mrs. Barrow won the argument the second time around as well, and Tommy happily joined his classmates every day on the long trek to the nearest school, on the outskirts of Bootle.

 

 

Tommy always strived to be good like Phillip - oh how he looked up to the older boy! - but one sad day he came home with a note from his teacher saying he'd been irreverent and disrespectful in sharing one of his 'smart considerations' with the class and Mr. Barrow decided he'd been given a good reason to take Thomas out of school after a mere two months.  
  
In truth, Tommy had only noticed that the teacher's trousers were stained and informed him, really very politely, that his Mum would surely know the best way to get rid of the stain if he told her _exactly_ how he'd stained the trousers in the first place.  
  
She would need to know the dynamics of the accident if she were to remove the stain lest she make it even worse, as she had told Tommy times and times again until he'd finally learnt his lesson.

Unfortunately for him, Mr. Stanton had just come from Ms. Laurelle's classroom and when he entered it, well... suffice it to say his trousers were not stained _then_.  
  
Poor Tommy was still far too young at only seven years of age to possibly understand Mr. Stanton risked facing the principal's questioning and perhaps even being fired if the story was made public, so he ended up paying the price to keep the illicit affair secret well before he even knew how spell the word 'tryst', never mind its meaning.

 

 

After the horrible beating Mr. Barrow put him through, Tommy decided he would keep _all_ of his considerations in his own head and be the good son and apprentice his father wanted him to be.  
  
Of course he would never be as good as Phillip, he was so much older than him and yet still in school, he obviously never disrespected his teachers like Tommy had.

Maggie told him that it was just fine if he became an illiterate clockmaker, so long as he was a precise one, like his father before him and his grandfather before him and so on. It was only fitting since she was learning to be a lady's maid like their mother before her. Before she married Mr. Barrow, of course, then she became a seamstress.  
  
Tommy wasn't surprised that Maggie didn't think his expulsion was important, he'd already learnt how to read and how to write his own name before he went to school and had always been ahead of his classmates.  
  
However, he was heartbroken when he realized his mother was so disappointed she would never look at him the same again.

 

* * *

 

When Susan was born Tommy was six and since she was a _girl_ he didn't think much of her, but David's arrival when Tommy was seven and just kicked out of school changed everything, starting with his Mum only having time for the little ones anymore and his Maggie suddenly getting a brand new baby brother to dote on.  
  
Tommy was in the shop with Mr. Barrow more often than not. Soon enough, the childish "Tommy" was left behind in lieu of a more serious sounding "Thomas" or "Barrow Jr." and he began referring to his Mum as "Mother" and to his Maggie as "Margaret" in order to sound more mature.

 

 

With Susie and Davie growing up fast and everyone always busy with this or that, the house was a mess and the people in it even more.  
  
Mr. Barrow was a light sleeper and eventually resorted to a cot down in the shop if he wanted to sleep at all at night, for the babies kept everybody up more nights than not with their combined cries. He only ever entered the house to eat, bathe and change his clothes anymore.  
  
Mrs. Barrow had her nerves shot from lack of sleep and physical exhaustion. When she wasn't sewing or scowling over the shop's numbers she was tending to the babies and uselessly trying to tidy up the house.  
  
She lost most of her clients since she was too busy to work as well as she did before, but she wouldn't stop sewing entirely because, like she'd told Mr. Barrow, "the shop's income was a little lower than usual the past few months, my love".  
  
A polite euphemism for: "we can't sustain four children on the shop alone, you idiot, we could barely make it work with two".

 

 

In truth, it was basically three children by then as Margaret worked as a housemaid in Liverpool and was rarely home anymore.  
  
When she was she spent more time at the Baxters' than at the Barrows', what with her thick friendship with Phyllis ever since the Baxters had moved in years before and the more recent courting with her younger brother _Phillip_.  
  
Thomas now had to babysit at night and help around the house as if he were a girl, doing laundry and sweeping floors while his mother caught her breath and, let's be honest here, he didn't like it one bit. "A clock artisan shouldn' feel like he were a maid" he frowned and sulked.

 

* * *

 

By the time Eleanor was born Thomas had stopped waiting for anybody to say a nice word to him anymore and had started to think of ways to get out of that house.  
  
He remained quiet and unobtrusive, helping his mother and working for his father, picture perfect of a devout son if only because he didn't want to be thrown out on his arse, he didn't have a plan _yet_.

His mother had lost the easy smile of her youth and resented Thomas for becoming an almost analphabet lowlife when instead he could've improved his education and done great things (she thought).  
  
His father had never had a pretty smile in the first place and his natural frown worsened as Thomas hit puberty.  
  
It seemed like he knew of the dirty thoughts that sometimes crossed Thomas's mind and, as he intensified the beatings, he became ever bitter in taking in the way his son distractedly blushed more when a tall boy talked to him than when a pretty girl did.

 

 

Shortly after Thomas turned thirteen a new shop was opened in Liverpool by a Swedish clockmaker and his position in the city allowed him to steal many clients from the Barrows.  
  
All the people who used to come from the neighbouring towns and villages were now offered the chance to have their clocks fixed or purchased in a rich city like Liverpool, and the Liverpool people had the clockmaker two streets away instead of two towns.  
  
With the shop's finances already unstable this seemed to be the final blow but Thomas knew by then most of their clients had really had enough of his father's rudeness and well-known drinking habits.

To prevent any mistakes and additional expenses, Thomas took on most of the work at the shop when his father was drunk.  
  
This resulted in Thomas being horrendously busy day and night, trying to save a failing business when he was still only an apprentice, barely ever having the time to think of 'escape plans'.  
  
Waiting for inspiration to strike, he hoped his parents would let him stay even with three younger children to sustain and the shop's business rapidly declining despite his efforts.

 

 

He was thirteen and doing most of the work but his father still treated him as if he were four and only just picking up the tools for the first time.  
  
He couldn't remember the last time his mother had looked at him with anything but disappointment for having been thrown out of school and not being the perfect little boy she thought she'd raised.  
  
He worked and helped and kept his mouth shut as much as he could until he burst with repressed anger and the words flowed out uncontrollable, often against his innocent siblings rather than his parents.  
  
They would certainly take drastic measures to punish him if they ever heard him speak his mind in such harsh words but Thomas had had enough of it and at least he knew the kids kept their mouths shut since they were too small to understand and they adored him anyway.

 

 

He was constantly reminded of how Phillip Baxter was the perfect role model for him to follow every time he came to visit Maggie on her half days and was always so polite, adored by every Barrow who wasn't named 'Thomas'.  
  
Thomas knew Phillip really was no saint, he always hid behind the grocer's cart with the butcher's daughter, Martha, and on some days even the grocer's own, Ms. Claire.  
  
But Phillip always insisted that Thomas tell nobody what he'd seen, and there was nothing wrong with it anyway, for even if he always told his girls he would marry them one day, Thomas and Phillip both knew he was going to marry Margaret in the end, and so did everybody else.

"And why would you wan' to make your sister sad, Thomas? Don' you think it better to keep your mouth shut and pretend you didn't see us?" he'd say.  
  
Thomas wasn't so sure about that but what Phillip told him next convinced him it was best to not say anything at all to Margaret: "I'm going to propose on Sunday Thomas, right after mass so we can ask father Stephen to set the date as soon as she accepts".  
  
They were married two weeks later on a Sunday afternoon in September and Margaret gave up the job as housemaid in Liverpool to join her mother as a seamstress.

 

 

The happy event cheered everybody up a little and Mrs. Barrow even warmed up a tad to Thomas.  
  
She could admit he was after all a responsible big brother with his younger siblings, keeping them all in line in church and making sure they didn't ruin their clothes with the soggy mud in the church yard.  
  
In spite of this, Mrs. Barrow's newfound appreciation of her eldest son didn't last long.

 

* * *

 

Thomas can still remember his mother's words the day before she threw him out of her house. "He was a bright young thin' when he was little, but I think he's become more reckless now... 'm worried, Margaret" - "So am I, mother, somethin's up wit' him I think" his sister replied while she sipped her tea.  
  
It seemed that being married made women all-knowing about all men's lives, for every time Thomas walked in on a conversation between his mother and Margaret they were discussing their husbands' conducts, or somebody else's husband's conduct.  
  
In this case, he believed they were discussing Phillip's recent behaviour, as a newly-wed man is usually quite contented with his life (and his wife) whereas Margaret's husband looked suddenly rather downcast and hadn't initiated any marital intimacies - _whatever that meant_ \- in a few days.

 

 

Thomas did not realize that part of the conversation had ended quickly while he was chasing after a half-naked Eleanor trying to squeeze her into a dress she didn't like.  
  
The two women were in fact talking about _him_ and how they'd seen him daydream with his head up in the clouds ever since his father had taken a step back from the shop. He was letting Phillip run the finances while he remained in the laboratory and Thomas appeased the clients' needs.  
  
The women weren't new to Thomas's infatuations with older boys and they probably thought him smitten with the grocer's new hand, who often shared a cigarette with "Phil and Tom" as he like to call them.  
  
He was rather an ugly mug in Thomas's opinion, and he couldn't even give a lad a decent nickname (what was with that _Tom_ stuff anyway?), but what would the women know of his sinful thoughts and who they _actually_ entailed...

 

 

On Sunday when they'd gone to church, his mother had made them stay late after mass to ask for advice from the new parson, father Callahan. She wasn't the only one to have such an idea, her son-in-law Phillip Baxter had sent his young wife home and stayed to confess.  
  
In asking for forgiveness for his sins he raised his voice more than was wise to do in an echoing space like the inside of a village church. His anguished voice could be heard plainly in the small vicarage: "...I let that Barrow boy touch my member, father, and now the sin of sodomy haunts my mind, father, day and night... ".  
  
David was still far too young to be the boy in question so Thomas's only reprieve was that his mother had been the only other person left in the church, as the children had gone with Margaret.

Mr. Barrow hadn't gone to church since his wedding day more than twenty years before and it was solely for that reason that Thomas was not beaten to a lifeless pulp without a chance to defend himself or run.  
  
Mrs. Barrow threw Thomas's winter coat and mittens out on the gravel before throwing out the boy himself and oh, _how he ran_ to avoid his father's fists. 

Thomas was out of his parent's house and under a bridge before dinner time.

 

* * *

 

Thomas had to adapt best as he could to an unforgiving world full of people ready to take advantage of one's bad luck.  
  
He was too proud of his skills as a clockmaker to let himself get caught and end up in a workhouse, but every time he tried to get another job he was told he was too young or inexperienced to be hired as a hand and at the same time too old to be taken on as an apprentice.  
  
He had his shoes stolen twice while he was sleeping and had to steal a pair himself to avoid freezing in the snow.  
  
He resorted to pinching grocers and bakers as he couldn't buy their food and bread, but that meant he had to move every few weeks to avoid getting recognized by the locals and eventually caught by the police.

 

 

Eventually, Thomas realized he had more 'natural' talents than he ever thought possible.  
  
His mother's pretty features saved him from the cold on more than a few nights, for however dirty and unkempt Thomas might be he always found someone mesmerized by his pallid complexion and his sharp cheekbones.  
  
His cat-like eyelashes and his grey-blue eyes did the rest: the prey was cornered and on lucky nights he even had a few shillings in his wallet that Thomas would get as a reward.  
  
In the dark alleys of Liverpool and Manchester Thomas put his tongue and lips to more _profitable_ uses than making scathing comments ever was.

 

 

After two years on the streets with barely enough clothes to survive the cold and never enough food, degrading himself more and more every time he had to resort to an alley to finally procure himself a little food, Mossleigh Manor was quite literally a sight for sore eyes.  
  
After a few months as a boot boy there he was noticed by the valet of a visiting earl and only a few days later he'd landed a job as hall boy for the Earl of Grantham.  
  
To think young Thomas already believed the Manor to be his saving grace... Little did Thomas know he'd find a better life in a bigger house even further away from home: Downton Abbey.


End file.
